Wife wants to leave marriage 4

[Treasur]

The lies and the 'I don't know' and the twisted logic all seem to be par for the course, don't they? It is a bit like a child who seems to fundamentally not get that x action produces y consequence.

At the same time as seeing that real consequences are important for them to see, I think one doesn't have to be harsh per se. Just matter-of-fact. Harsh is normally because we're angry or frustrated with them. Matter of fact comes with detachment and not feeling responsible or trying to protect them from those consequences.

It makes sense to see the lawyer and it doesn't commit you to one course of action. It is just using an objective third party to help you think objectively about your options and how to protect you and your son. As for working 'with her' on the divorce process? Well, that's your choice and there may be things you have to take responsibility for to protect your family. But, part of that for most of us seems to be about deciding 'whose' divorce it is...if it is hers and you don't want it, why is it your job to work with her (which really means 'do most of it for me in a nice way as if I was still your H/W)? If it is your choice, then how you handle divorcing her is your business.

I'm so sorry that you're in this sitch. I remember the first time I saw my L over a year ago there was a bit of me that just could not believe that I was having this surreal conversation about us, about OUR M. I cried like a baby after the meeting.