Still here. Still not detached...

[Chris73]

I would like to thank everyone for the kind comments and support since last Wednesday. It was an extremely difficult day for me and I spent more time than I should have agonizing over the past and asking the great unknown, "what did I do to deserve this?"

Anyway, I do intend to respond to all the comments/questions tomorrow when my head is on straight. Tonight however I needed to post just to get things off my chest. Today I took the day off and had a fantastic day with the kids at an amusement park. When I got home (with both kids asleep in the back seat) I realized that I did not have my house key and none of my neighbors have a spare. So my W was forced to come to our house and let us in.

After the kids were in bed she made a snide comment about how she was annoyed that I took the car keys for the car that we share out of her purse this morning and didn't ask her. I told her that the keys were hanging out of her purse and in the middle of the hectic morning I just grabbed them. Something I've done 1000 times before. She said, "It doesn't matter, it's MY purse!"

Now look, I know she's right. We don't have the same relationship we used to have. Assuming I can just grab the keys from her purse without asking was a mistake on my part. But c'mon, she's just instigating for the sake of instigating. There are plenty of things that she's done in past year that I've just shaken off. And it pi$$ed me off that the great day I had with my kids ended on this sour note.

Yes, yes I know. Detach. Don't let anyone else's actions dictate your mode or ruin a perfectly good day...

Easier said than done. As I type this I'm still pi$$ed. She talks out of both sides of her mouth. Constantly pushing for an "amicable co-parenting relationship" while at the same time instigating conflict when it's not necessary.

We have a M&F counseling session on Thursday (at her request) to discuss "next steps." And I had planned to go into that session as level-headed and unemotional as possible. But after this latest exchange (and another on Sunday that I haven't posted about), I just feel like going into the session and saying, "You win. You have pushed me far enough. Let's put this marriage out of its misery as soon as possible."

I'm sure I'll feel better about this tomorrow...