Still bad at DB

[sandi2]

Still bad at DB? Are you ready to make necessary changes? Until you are willing to do what works, in spite of your fear.......you will be stuck. Furthermore, the same thing will likely play out in your next relationship.

I think you may have 180'd in the wrong area. You absolutely have to let go of how you use to be distant with your WW. Whatever you did in the past that caused distance, is not applicable to what she's doing currently. The more you try to do the opposite of being distance while she is openly disrespecting you......will push her further and further away. Once she is acting out in her waywardness, she won't feel attracted to you, and it's not b/c you were distant. Trying to be close and available will not get you where you want to be.

Wife still has me by the Walnuts.

And, there's the real issue^^^^^^^^^^^^. What do you intend to do to reclaim your balls?

We still talk regularly. We both cant seem to completely let go

Why not pull back and if she wants to pursue you......let her.

W has now asked several times what I want and when I reply she goes cold.

She doesn't want to do the heavy lifting. She wants to pick up where she left in the M. Don't compromise.

Its going to take an act of congress to break up with OM.

Not really........it only takes her believing she's lost you.

She told me on Sunday she's not very attracted to OM and still finds me very attractive. She said he gives her a ton of attention and is so proud of her. Not sure if I want to wait that out.

Then don't wait it out. She is playing games when she tells you this stuff. She throws a few crumbs and you dance around waiting for more. Not attractive. She's playing you and the OM.

I thought maybe if I'm the good guy she will come around. Also, I wanted to be the good guy when others find out. It felt good at first when I got pity but that got old quick.

Dale, this is the mindset of a man with nice guy syndrome. Please take it seriously.