Thanks for the great advice. Spending more time alone with S13 is definitely the key. She is a good mother for the most part. Other than wanting to break up the family for OM. My W actually had the nerve to tell a friend "At least I was good parent for the first 13 years." Basically choosing d*ck over our child. I don't want a D for various reasons. But she continues to cross those boundaries and I am looking like a joke right now
Respect is everything as Sandi mentioned. And right now I know she doesn't respect me. Yes there are spurts of warmth, but what does that mean if OM is still in the picture? Do I trade respect for a few moments where my W acts like a decent human being to me? I would love to keep showing compassion and all those things you mentioned. But unless there is a way to combine that with gaining her respect, I don't see that happening. Those are clearly being taken as weakness.
