What if she says "I want to go back to marriage counseling and give it another shot?" Not very likely at this point, IMO, but she had said something similar as recently as a couple of weeks ago in the immediate aftermath of the latest "reveal", but backed off of that when we had our "post-OM confrontation" talk. I'm honestly not sure she'd be ready for that right now and would kind of be suspicious of her motives but... Feel like I should be prepared if she suggests it.
First, she needs IC before you waste any money on MC. She's not ready for MC. It would fail.
Second, if R is a possibility for you then you have to show them a clear and well-defined path back to the marriage. List out everything that you need to stay married to this woman. Heck, have her list some things too. Then make sure both of you understand that words are absolutely meaningless. She, and you, have to put forth actions toward these things. Deviations from the path or half-assing any of the items will result in you immediately filing for D and seeing it through.
Once I was done with my WW and was preparing to move on for good she begged, pleaded, groveled, etc. for just one more chance. That's when I enumerated everything that she, and I, had to do to get on a path back to marriage. I literally didn't consider myself married to her any longer, even though legally I was.
If you have decided to end the M then who cares if she asks for more therapy or not.
