It's just not helpful to say someone is gullible without offering further information.
And you are correct! And I'm not trying to pick on Doodler, he is very helpful on these forums, but I was just trying to encourage you to be more direct in expressing yourself. For me as a recovering sufferer of NGS, I've found that being direct can be quite liberating, because the problem with being passive/ aggressive is I often misinterpreted or misunderstood someone, so I would switch to indirect behavior to express my dissatisfaction but then that just made the other person angry and so we would continue on, angry at each other, over something that was more than likely a misunderstanding anyway. When I've started being more direct, IE saying something like "wow, you really offended me with that statement" then usually the person apologizes and explains what they -really- meant and it's resolved and we move on, both happier for the convo :-) So good job!
Originally Posted By: Tobias
Instead she isn't cold, mean or distant anymore. She does a lot of 180s on her own and validates that I am making improvements. She now openly apologized about having sex with someone else and expressed she felt shame and now guilt about it. She has NOT corrected the IC when she said this is closure and a path forward for us. After the first MC she mentioned how she wasn't ready to let OM go after the counselor said that probably should happen. And three weeks later is when I broke down and said I see no future for our MC with OM involved which then led my W to explain her fear and why she wants OM around. That is when IC started for her and three weeks later she apologizes for this.
You are right to see that as progress! Like Michele says in DR, recon isn't typically something where you see big moves, it's a series of baby steps. You've seen a lot of progress from her, she still has a long way to go but it seems you are quite patient so that will serve you well while she's trying to sort things out in her head. An active A would complicate things, but if there is one you will eventually find out about it and can decide how to change your approach then.
