Hello Kylo and welcome to the forums! I've read all your posts and my question to you is what is your goal? Are you trying to save your M? I'm confused, it sounds like you think your W is crazy and that you wish you hadn't married her in the first place. Assuming that is true then I'm just wondering what your focus is. I hope that doesn't sound negative spin, I mean it as a genuine question as it will affect our advice to you.
Originally Posted By: Kylo
She dropped the bomb in May of this year, with almost no warning.
That's what it usually seems like to the LBS, but she may have been trying to get your attention for months or even years. It probably looked like nagging to you, but it was a cry for help. Then she gave up and started planning her escape.
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In the following few conversations we had, she would eventually say things like: "I don't think I can love you like that." "Our marriage was terrible" "I've been faking it for so long" "You deserve better" "We can be great friends" etc...
All typical WAS script.
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I let them down making this poor choice of a mom, (she's actually a good mom, BUT SHE WANTS A DIVORCE, so a failure)
Marriages rarely fail because one person was perfect and the other was a hot mess. It's usually because both spouses quit trying. It happens, after years and years of M it's hard to keep things new and exciting. It all just kind of goes on autopilot. So try to look beyond your W's issues and see if there's not something you need to work on yourself. That's a large part of DB'ing is making ourselves the best possible "me" that we can be.
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She said "he thinks we should divorce" Wow! What a counselor! I got a kick out of that.
Most IC's and MC's are little more than divorce facilitators. Michele obviously isn't, and she's putting together a network of coaches and counselors that are marriage friendly. Hopefully they will change the landscape eventually!
