It's just not helpful to say someone is gullible without offering further information.
This process is incredibly hard. We should be supportive on here rather than be critical and cynical. Unless there is a broader point to be made.
Obviously I know her beings friends with OM is an issue. If you read my very short (insert sarcasm) posts I always say that I trust her that they are friends but that I don't necessarily see how that would work if we have a future together.
Now if I post on here that I am looking forward to my W hanging out with OM or how I am planning a family get away with all three of us going together THEN maybe I deserve to be called gullible. But right now when I have made it clear I am following my gut and I know I take a risk...to basically say I am gullible is reinforcing the worst possible fear I already may have.
It isn't just doodler there are others who basically come in here and regardless of the situation basically encourage people to take a hardline stance. To me this is a direct violation of what DR advises. In several other threads you see people taking a more compassionate stance and they have made steps forward. Lots of others who took a hardline stance are now actually divorced. So to me a lot of it feels like self fulfilling prophecy.
Each of us has unique elements of the sitch. Perhaps the overarching approach is similar but there are many nuances.
So I am just wondering what the point is on coming here if (outside of AnotherStander and 25yearsmlc) the feedback is basically: you are not making progress if OM is involved. If I wasn't aware of that or oblivious to that fact sure go ahead. But to basically say: nah man you are gullible or nah man she IS cake eating (whereas we have no idea what our S are going through internally) or nah man she is just waiting for the right moment. That is just not helpful.
Like I said. Several folks on here seem angry (and perhaps bitter).
If I am gullible so be it. I can accept myself a lot better if I end up divorced than if W had left back in April. Part of that feeling better is my approach but also from actions I receive from W.
