He proceeds to tell me to stop trying to please my wife because it's not working and is actually pushing her away. He wants me to only do things that I want to do. Stop doing things to please her and stop fishing for compliments. He said he is going to teach me how to detach from her.
Even though you have good intentions, pursuing your wife in this way is having the opposite effect.
Originally Posted By: mxdup
I also feel like I should mention that now months later my wife is still sleeping in our marital bed with me and has made zero effort to leave. She still rejects affection and complains about me as a husband on a fairly regular basis but also thanks me for household tasks. She seems to check most of the boxes for a MLC.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
I would hold off on pursuing affection at this point. However there are things that could work and make a difference. I suggest you speak to a DB coach, as they are experts in looking at what has happened to bring you to this point in your relationship and what is the best way to interact with her, so that you are most likely to bring her closer and not push her any further away. Your coach's expertise will help you come up with a very specific plan (that may be counter intuitive to what you feel like saying and doing) on how to best turn things around. I wish you all the best and would be happy to discuss the coaching with you.
Cristy
Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
