Isn't it a weird and horrible feeling to have to pick through all the financial chaos as part of D? I don't regret loving my MLC H but I might regret marrying him at the moment, given the frankly extraordinary financial chaos he has created for both of us in the last 2 years. Fair to say that we were in much better order before he lost his marbles and started spending money he doesn't have on shiny things and presumably to impress OW! It's a bit shocking to see how he has trashed his life and will be left with virtually nothing...still, maybe that is part of life's rich lesson for him. It makes me realise that me doing the admin and budget during our M really kept us safe. He is spending money like a teenager without seeming to think about the consequences at all, literally on one's lawyers letter he said essentially "Oh yes, I took that money from the joint account and cashed in joint investments because I needed it even though I knew it would make me look bad." WTF! And "I know it was silly to throw a �3000 watch in the river but it's done now." and "Well, I don't consider my 2016 or 2017 bonus as marital resources because in my head the M was over..."
It is sad somehow that instead of fighting for healthy things like honesty and love and marriage, we're left fighting over stolen watches, pensions and chess tables. (Well, I'm not fighting other than standing my ground sensibly, but my MLC H has taken himself to the edge of personal bankruptcy and is full of lies and shame because of things he's done that are now forced into the light by the process.)
Big lesson for anyone new to MLC land - which I've only partially been able to do - your MLCer will spend money like a child. No matter how responsible or honest they were before, they will spend, steal and lie and often forget what they have even done with the money. Please balance your heart with your financial head as soon as you can.
Me: 53 H:38 T:20 M:14 BD ILYB etc 10/15, H diagnosed severe depression S 1/16 PA 4/16 H filed 1/17
