KGirl - new life, new stuff #2

[25yearsmlc]

I don't know. I don't get it at all. Maybe it's because I'm fixating too much on the things I see as promising and not the negative things.

YES THIS^^^^^^^^^


Like why offer to bring me "whatever you need" earlier in the week when I was sick?

did you take him up on his offer??


And why tell me about his plans to buy carpet and other mundane things if he isn't that interested?


Wow I don't see this^^ topic as the same thing at all.

I just see this as him making mundane conversation. He may have been bored and just talked about his latest task of the day....It's Not showing interest,it's the opposite imo.

To me, being "that interested" is asking you about YOUR day and getting to know your opinions on current events or art or kids, etc OR being interesting and not mundane. IF he asked your opinion and brought you,,to me that shows a basic comfort level but not real EFFORT...did he plan out dates well?


And why not just say "I just don't feel the same way about you" which is how he broke up with his last girlfriend?

he said almost the same thing to you, didn't he? I would think he'd vary the exact wording since he knows you know it


He's obviously capable of saying what he thinks.

And he did say what he thinks...honey, he said he doesn't want to see you now. He said "MAYBE" later on he will call you if if if blah blah blah.

IF IF IF he calls, he calls. There is nothing dignified for you to do but move on. Honestly, there are not many options here.

But yes, maybe it comes down to point in life and regardless of level of interest in me in particular, he does not have the capability/energy/interest in sustaining a relationship right now. Which is hard because...cutesy quotes on the internet say "if it's the right person you'll make time for them."

we cannot get our wisdom from cutesy quotes. If you want to,

use the "if you love something, set it free...---if it's meant to be, he'll return and if not, you never really had it at all."

I don't know that I buy this one^^ but I see it in a lot of women's bathrooms


I have a list I made of things that I would need in a person inbetween R's. Looking back some of them are really more wish-list than need ("likes to read" - meh) but others are much more important. This guy had all of them besides "follow through on what he says and does."

that is called being unreliable, and worse...it's not a small character defect, but that is what it is.


I guess I chalked it up to him being preoccupied with other things and that maybe as we grew closer/I became more important, he would be more dependable (like he is with his work which he clearly values) but yes, maybe he will always be like that and I need to either accept or decide I cannot deal with it. As you said, I was betting on potential and not what was in front of me.

Yes. I was on "hopium" that my h would return to who h had been many years earlier and that I thought he'd be again. He lied convincingly often. I bet a lot of years on potential and he had been such an involved father when the kids were little.

And sure, he'd feed me kibbles (a week of attention on a trip, a gift, etc) enough to hold me from leaving,

until it was too much in my face, and too little in my bank account - he took ALL the joint account money...and still has not given me my half.

Furious at ME for wanting spousal support and blah blah blah

KGirl, if you were my d, I'd take you to dinner and urge you to RUN FAST from this guy b/c he's not good news for your heart.

Period. I'm sorry