Who's fault is this again? Can I forgive her?

[sandi2]

Irish, may I stick my head in and comment on the subject of forgiveness?

I have tried to forgive. But how can one forgive someone who does not ask to be forgiven or even shows and remorse or accepting of their behavior.

Forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a choice. The other person asking for our forgiveness is not a prerequisite. It's not even necessary to tell them you forgive them. That's a personal decision for you.

If she had owned it. I could find myself to forgive.

It seems to make it a little more easy when they come to us broken-hearted and humbly ask for our forgiveness. Real strength is required for us to forgive those who are arrogant and stupid. Forgiveness is not based on their abilities......but our own. It is not based on their character, but our own. Forgiveness is not merited, for it is truly an act of grace. Therefore, they will never deserve forgiveness.

My current situation .. no forgiveness is needed as it will not be taken as forgiveness. It will be taken as brushing it under the rug. Forgetting about it.

It is not our responsibility as to how they take our forgiveness. Forgiveness is not condoning the offense. It is not forgetting the offense. And yes, forgiveness is for us, for without it.....we carry a cancer within ourselves and it eats away from the inside out until we no longer are recognizable. Unforgiveness is a thief that robs our peace and joy. Our forgiveness may not be desired, appreciated, or recognized by the other person......but it surely is needed for our own spirit to be free.


((Irish))