Db'ing is about being patient. But I know there comes a point where the WW isn't going to respect you and as long as that fog is up, nothing you do matters.
Ultimately it is your choice to continue waiting or go ahead and file. I'm not sure if you see her coming out of the fog as a fix for the problem. It's not an automatic fix. Most times, the WW will be in a depression, and won't necessarily have any desire to work on the MR. Do you think that once she is out of the fog her respect for you will automatically return? FWIW, I think the longer she sees her H tolerate her affair as it is being flaunted in his face........the less chance he has in getting back the W who loves and respects him. Make sense?
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Guess I want to know is if I am dropping the rope to soon and just not being patient enough with this process?
You are the only one who can determine it. IMHO, it's not good to remain under the same roof if she ignores your boundaries and continues showing a variety of ways to disrespect you.
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There are people on this board who have worked on their WS for years before reaching this point.
Well, that is their choice. It doesn't mean it is the right choice or that it should be your choice, too. Every person has to do what is right for them.
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Also after I talk with the lawyer should I give my W a talk about still having the option to work on the MR or just say nothing? I just want to be sure that I did everything in my power to make things right.
I would say nothing. You know how the bully knocks the chip off your shoulder? You pick it up and lay on your shoulder again, thinking he wouldn't dare knock it off again......but he does. Don't do actions that are daring her. Telling her she still has the option to work on the MR, clearly looks as if you saw a lawyer just to pressure her into a favorable decision.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
