Sigh. I don't even know what to say. I fear saying the wrong thing, because while our sitches are similar, our Hs are quite different. I do know that I personally have very much needed to see remorse, regret, and accountability to begin the forgiveness process. For me it as been a long and complicated process. I have been fortunate that I have had that from him and that H has been consistent over time. In a way it is what keeps me hopeful.
I don't want to suggest that your H should do the same because I am sure there are dynamics in our Ms that are different. I also agree that forgiveness does come from within us. Because even though my H has demonstrated "true remorse," I have still struggled. A lot. There is not a direct proportion between the level of remorse he shows with my ability to forgive. Does that make sense? I think for me to achieve a level of forgiveness that I can live with, I have to make some internal shifts in my perspective and also simply make the choice to do so. I am not sure if that helps at all. I def sympathize with your struggles!
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
