Typical dilemma, I am not to initiate R conversations, yet have personal boundaries. Well, my boundaries tell me that you don't get to pretend like this never happened.
As is common of the LBS, you can't figure out a way to deal with things without having a R talk. So, you try to label it a boundary. A boundary doesn't give you a pass for a R talk. Is this a boundary you had previously set, or are you wanting to call it boundary after the fact? If she dishonored your boundary, then you are the only one who has an action response........which should have some type of consequence for her. This consequence does not include talking. Having a R talk is never a consequence for breaking a boundary. So, without any discussions.........what would you do about her pretending nothing happened? A boundary is suppose to protect you. What action will you take to protect you from her pretense that she has not seen her lawyer?
Btw, have you seen a lawyer yet? Most of us will advise the LBS to get legal advice, and say nothing about it to their WS. I think that's pretty much what she has done, and it gets you b/c she isn't talking about it and acting "as if".
Sandi, as I would imagine most of us here do, I take your post very seriously. I am trying to understand. I'm not worried about getting a jump on legal counsel. At this point our assets are minimal and the kids are old enough where they can choose. If I get served with unreasonable demands I can pursue representation. At this point, I have done nothing wrong and grounds would be irreconcilable differences. Thanks for the concern.
If the consequences don't include talking, what should I do? Wait, watch?
She has slowly added terms of endearment back into the routine. Kisses goodbye for the day etc.
I'm not sure what is next. I fear ignoring the recent events is a bad option.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
