So as I progress through this ... my updates grow further and further apart mostly because there is just so little 'post-worthy' news to share.
My MLCr and I had disclosed our financials back in March after the first court hearing. The next court date was set for Aug 3rd. I had not heard a peep from her L nor her about the D or anything related. Communication with the MLCr and myself has been strictly S10 based .... she has been more cordial than normal during this time with a few phone calls about therapy or scheduling vacations she was wanting to take .... my approach very guarded and business like because honestly, she is nice when she wants or needs something that's how she works, and it was also what had me stuck for years and attached thinking it was her popping out of the tunnel when infact it was simply manipulation.
So a week and a half prior to the court date I receive docs from the Lawyer, presenting the proposed settlement agreement ... as I read along I probably said 'oh hell no / she is nucking futs' a dozen times. I went and did a free consult with an amazing L who understood my position and also offered to just walk me through for an hourly rate if needed rather than retain her for thousands as its apparent the MLCr and her L want to settle this out of court. I am one of the few who actually would benefit financially being divorced at this point (MLCr should have filed at BD and she would have been set)
So armed with info I go to court .. the L tries to toss me under the bus implying she had not heard from me with regards to the settlement ... I return serve and made the judge laugh with the rest of the court room when I informed him I just received the package and it took me 3 days to locate my eyeballs that rolled out of my head after reading the proposal, then another 3-4 to find a L who could give me a non-biased counsel, as amazing as the MLC's lawyer seems... she is also not on my payroll nor guarding my interests. So he set another date for October 25th which I am sure they will want to settle before then.
After that .. the L asked to talk and we sat and went through the proposal ,which she said she thought was fair .... and I actually laughed at her agreeing that if I were on her team I would think its a helluva deal. I was nice and cordial but also firm when I informed her I was only out for fair ... not about getting to fair and negotiating down. She was not happy that I knew exactly where I stood and was in no hurry to settle and they would have to go back and arrive at much better numbers to be done with this. Now its in the courts MLCr will have to pay the L for all this work ... that fantasy of what D looks like I am sure is going to be far removed from reality.
Strange thing is ... this far into it all I am not bitter/angry or any of that. Its simply business at this point. For me divorced/married/limbo it makes no difference in my life as I have finally reached that acceptance place ... it is what it is .. so cliche but fits. As much as I never wanted D, at this point I think I need it .. I think she needs it. I do not know who she is at all anymore ... even pictures that pop up on 'FB-memories' feels like I am looking at someone else s life but somehow have a vague memory of that event. Getting past this allows me to get into a place and close this chapter and see what the next chapter holds.
Personally .. I am not dating, I am really much to busy to really give anyone my time, working as much as I do its really hard to actually meet anyone. The online thing ... ugh .. well been there and done that and its for the birds. So I have accepted things will happen as they will, I do not have much free time but when I do I make an effort to get out of my comfort zone and get out there and learn how to be somewhat human again. Wednesday I am going out to a Birthday party for two female friends (twins) I have not seen in years .. should be a fun night.
So ... till something else happens ... I hope you all take care and remember its more about your own journey than it ever will be about theirs.
