I know my last thread was pretty close to the limit so at this point I figured best just to start a new thread ... I am not counting them nor linking them ALL I think after 24 (GOOD GREIF!!) that's just silly, those who want to look back through them have their homework to do. Also ... I am not sure if I mentioned this but I have saved the first 20 or so just for safe keeping as I know the site does do a purge here and there and with all the great advice I figure it would be a good idea to keep those golden nuggets.

Link to previous thread:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...596#Post2706596

So I have an update .... but also reading another thread it made me recall something that happened that I do not think I have shared that I actually feel compelled to now all the sudden.

So let me set this up .... I belonged to an online forum similar to this ... just different topic prior to my BD in 2013. I actually moderated the site. So long story short There was a husband/wife who were contributing members of the site for some time .... out of the blue (Christy-MLCr) left her husband of 30 years (Hank-LBS) for another member (Jerry-OM). At the time ... 2009 I think ... I did not think much of it as I had no idea what MLC truly was. My BD was a good 4 years after this and was another year till I discovered this place so I really had not thought about this at all as I was in my own tornado of misery at the time.
So a few months ago (I do check into that place here and there still) I see this post from (Christy) who I am sure went through her own MLC as things just seem to line up now that I understand what to look for ... thought I would share as it really shows how that fantasy is never what its cracked up to be.

In response to her 'Announcement'
Quote:
We request the honor of your virtual presence
As we, (Jerry-OM) and (Christy-MLCr)
exchange marriage vows,
celebrate new beginnings, new dreams,
and most importantly, our love for each other
Friday, May 1, 2009

Raise your glass at 7pm
You all played a part in bringing us together


Then 8 years later ... the reality of it all...and some insight that possibly both were MLC and the perfect storm hit shore.

Quote:

Well, after almost 8 years together it is over. He passed away on April 27th, 2017 after a difficult battle with Esophageal Cancer. We had more downs than ups in the marriage. He lied to me, promised things he could not or would not deliver. I think he must have been bi-polar or something similar. I'm not a doctor so can't say for sure. I just know what I lived.

(Jerry-OM) convinced me that he was the answer to my prayers, someone who would love me like no other, better than anyone else could. I came here looking for help and thinking that if my husband(Hank-LBS) saw me interacting with other men it would give him a kick start. Remind him that he loved me. It didn't work. It backfired big time.

I ended up divorcing (Hank-LBS), moving to Texas and marrying Jerry-OM). He was a big time scotch and soda man, a big time liar. He was mean to his mother, sister, children. He'd been married twice before and both women left him. I wish I would have known how mean he was.

He told me when he retired we would move back to Michigan, close to my children and parents. We did it alright but he alienated my family and they would have nothing to do with us. After my Dad died in 2015 I was able to mend fences with my mom and sister. It's been difficult.

(Jerry-OM) forbid me to participate here because he was jealous. But he continued to play as you all know. Some women here continued to play with him unknown to me. He emailed with them and talked about meeting, talked about what he'd like to do with them. It's disgusting to think about knowing what I know about him.

While we lived in Texas I would come to Michigan maybe twice a year to visit my family. Usually he would come with me once each year. While I was gone he would go to Dallas and visit, have dinner with and stay the night with one of his old girlfriends. Never telling her he was married. I was looking for his rib recipe on his computer yesterday (we liked to cook together) and instead of recipes I found saved correspondence from women on this site and his old girlfriend. Special.

I don't know if he met any of you girls while we were married or if he had "sex" with you. I will say he had Polio as a child and sex was rare for us. He had difficulty from the polio. I was alright with it because he supposedly loved me. I foolishly turned the other cheek after he pointed guns at me in a drunken rage. Turned the other cheek when he told me I was a stupid son of a bitch. When he wouldn't eat dinner because I didn't ask him how to make it first.

What a gem he turned out to be. And what a fool I was for destroying my marriage of 32 years, thinking I was needing something better.

Stop and think about what you are doing before you jump. The grass is not greener on the cheating side. I speak from experience.

He, at time was a lovely gentleman. He could speak and write lovely words making me feel, at the time like the luckiest woman in the world. I do believe that after he got cancer he came around and maybe did really love me. For the care and love that I gave him. I was here when he was unconscious, taking excellent care of him as I was taught by my mother. He did not die alone or in pain. I was a good wife to him.

I'm not angry, I'm hurt to the core that we lived a lie.

Shame on me.


I post this just for the simple fact that I think this is the typical result .... some figure things out faster than others .. for Christy it was 8 years later that she showed some remorse for the choices she made and felt compelled to warn others not to make the same mistake as she did.
Sometimes I think we need to see a story like this, as in my case its hard to know because my MLCr is so good at the fake front you would think she is the happiest person on earth most the times, then other times you can just hear the pain ... MLC is odd that way.

OK update to follow.


M: 48
W: 47
M16 T26-S8
BD Sept13