So, your boundary is that your wife isn't allowed to meet with an attorney without telling you about it within one week?

And if she tries to, you are going to ask her about it?

This still doesn't sound like a boundary, nor does it seem like it would help your sitch at all.

Me: 44
H: 44
Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10
Together/Married: 22 years
H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16
H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16