Is it verified she's completely NC with him? If not then they're still together be it physically or emotionally. Unfortunately affair fog is impervious to divorce busting techniques.
Not to quibble, but I disagree to an extent. I think there are many "non DB" techniques that make it worse. Things that push the APs closer together in an "us against the world" way, or confirm their views of the LBSer as someone not really deserving of them, or who "cannot get" them for their true selves.
I also believe by GAL and Detaching we are far more likely to have the WAS's second guess their decisions - if they are aware enough to wonder about their actions. They often do this, if only momentarily.
I think if you are panicking and showing it, or trying to guilt them, or falling apart in front of them, you are more likely to confirm their negative impressions of you. Plus, look how great a catch they are if you're falling apart without them!
But If they are entertaining a "contest" to compare their new life to the one you offer, (not that you should play!)
the chances of them thinking it out a bit more, are increased by what you present.
I agree with Txhubby that we cannot assume our actions will directly affect anything someone else does. They are free to choose.
And that is a truism for our lives. I love analogies, so here's one.
To me it's about staying in our own sandbox and making it right for us, regardless of what someone else does in their sandbox. IF they look at ours, they will see a good sandbox, cleaner, and brighter than before.
And IF they don't look, we still have a better sandbox than we had before - and we will never again try to clean theirs. Nor will we allow others to run ours.
Hope that makes sense.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
