Act Now or Cry Later

[roist]

Ha who,

IMHO you will not cry later. The time it takes to go through your stand or your H's mlc will never be gotten back. That is why we don't just sit in a corner pinning waiting for it to pass. Live life with a bigger spoon to use your own words.

I don't think you need to pressure yourself to decide or do anything NOW.It is not now or never. You have no pressure to act immediately.

Now I know as time goes by the accumulated affect can weigh on us. Improvements in H may appear trivial and certainly fall short of being adequate.I believe we should try to minimise that accumulation and try to assess things just on current situation. This is hard to do. If we keep score our spouses will obviously lose. But we do not win.

I am not saying to give H a free pass and forgive/forget everything you have been through. That is another unhelpful option. However allowing the accumulation affect, can only lead to resentment which will not serve you either.

I understand that eventually every lbs with a live in WAS will sooner or later decide enough is enough. It is inevitable and IMO even healthy. I see that as afuture possible reality. It doesn't scare me anymore. I look forward to it. BUT I know it is not just yet. For NOW I have a path to follow. This is our choice. One day we may choose differently.

Wow. And that reply was just in response to your title!!

Thanks for continuing to share your journey.

As for the shoes you could have said you will let him figure out who they belong too. Or ask who he thinks they belong to. If he says something about a male friend,just reply that's interesting. Would do him no harm.to think you may be moving on.

Best wishes