Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 10

[PsySara]

I struggle with forgiveness as WH hasn't really manned up and shown (in my opinion) true remorse. I've told him in explicit and clear terms what I need to build trust with him again. (delete cheater apps, go to MC and IC, do some reading to get to the root of his "why") and so far no dice.

This weekend was a rough one for me. WH was working this weekend and I was single parenting. He comes home and studies for his licensing exam (on the 21st) and we sometimes watch a show together before bed time. And the triggers are legion. But I wonder how I am supposed to address it? Alone and muddle my way through? Tell WH and hope he can find some empathy instead of defensiveness? I dunno. I still feel very alone in this aftermath of his affair. When it is brought up he resorts to telling me why he feels I made it possible for him to cheat. I'm sorry but that is BS. I was very unhappy in our marriage as well and didn't step out. I think I am spiraling and I am not sure what to do about it. I really wish I could just cut this anger and resentment out of me.