I've read a lot of return stories (and I'm not saying that is what this is) on this and a lot of other sites. Often they make a big push for the end before trying to start over. I think they believe so strongly that they will be rejected that they can't bring themselves to ask to come back.
Total mind-meld on this, OwnIt. This is why I don't want Treasur pre-emptively closing off and declaring failure.
In other MLC R stories the MLCer makes it appear the darkest before the dawn because of their shame of what they've done and fears of never being accepted by the LBS again. They have changed recently, are starting to recognize that they created a mess, have seen that the LBS is okay and is making the best of life, and it's down to the wire with D or some other finality looming. They want to have a conversation, where they approach it with the assumption that it's over but the words are so carefully chosen (so as to not completely close doors) that they are clumsy and confusing.
It's so easy to see it the pattern as an observer, but I'm sure it's not so easy when it's your own situation and you've been on the rollercoaster for years.
Treasur, we don't know what will happen, but I think OwnIt and I are both picking up on some possibilities that could come from this. You've got a delicate balancing act in front of you. Remain detached and confident in your ability to handle anything, and don't go into it presuming the worst. I can only imagine how hard it is to pull that off, but I think you can do it.
