Don't go backward. You've been doing awesome. You will continue to be amazing. He has shown you who he is. Believe it, and decide whether you and your boys deserve that in your life.
Maybe I have sounded like it was easy and you should just get with the program. It's not. It's a process. And I, personally, in spite of the great life I have now, and how clear I am that Mr. Fantastic sux, have moments like yours where I want him to know what he lost, to feel regret, to have a moment of clarity that he had a great life that he threw away. It's the result of my anger, not the result of my desire to have him back. It's sadness for all the good things that could have been and should have been. I know they wouldn't have been because of who he is.
Work towards being clear about that in your mind and your heart. You didn't make him the way he is, and the way he is he would never be happy with the same things that make you happy. Maybe he would never be happy at all. But YOU WILL BE. I promise that. Just keep moving forward.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
