Good to hear from you, girl. I cannot BELIEVE your ex-bil is now your mailman!!!
It's rotten to hear that he's spending all this money but not helping son with college. My youngest hasn't spoken to his father in two years, all the financial help he needs falls on me (son is struggling with serious depression and anxiety).
I think it makes it way harder that he's still with the OW. At least, thank god, my ex married someone he met a year after we split. I feel kinda sorry for her but hope she will care for my ex in his old age.
I haven't had to speak with him in quite some time. Just some emails last year because he was sending me some papers I had to sign about a piece of land in Mexico that he got in the divorce. I like it that way. I hear he's had a lot of unhappy events in his life the last two years. ( His much younger wife's parents died, his father diagnosed with lung cancer, his stepfather died, his mom diagnosed with Parkinson's, and him diagnosed with an old fracture in his neck, which means he can't surf. )
I don't wish him any ill, but I'm glad he's not my problem any more. I hope he's able to heal his relationships with the kids but that's not under my control.
Just don't fall into the trap of thinking it's all roses and champagne over there. You know she trapped him in that relationship with her pregnancy. If he was that enthusiastic he'd probably have married her long ago. She's probably being Bridezilla and he's probably buying stuff still trying to make himself happy.
I'm glad you're standing up to him on the financial stuff. Just let your lawyer handle it and get back to living your life. Dream some dreams! Do something new! The more we let go and allow ourselves to dream our own dreams, the more good stuff happens.
