Okay, so, sorta sidebar here: What are some of the GAL activities that any of the LBS's on here have found particularly therapeutic and helpful in terms of boosting sense of self and helping with detachment from the MR trainwreck? Fitness has been a big one with me. Hanging out with friends, when I can, is another but my number of "local" friends is somewhat limited. Canoeing/kayaking/fishing is something I really enjoy.
What have some others here found particularly good?
I don't take GAL quite so literally. To me GAL is all about finding alternatives to having needs met that you used to look to WAS for. I am extremely introverted and was not interested in traditional GAL activities and am turned off by many of them. So instead of thinking I'll just go out and do stuff to keep busy, I started by asking what I was missing from WAS and how else could I replace that in my life.
Non traditional activities that to me feel like GAL are:
-posting on DB forums. Replaces talking to XW. Hey, I'm interacting with others, getting to know people, and talking about things on my mind.
-get a message. Nothing intimate, but it is relaxing and provides a friendly human touch.
-leave messages for my friend. My best friend and I take turns leaving each other 5-20 minutes of voicemails during the day. Someone to share the funny things that happen, talk about life, the universe, and everything. Provides a partner to handle life with and someone to be a witness to my existence.
-spend time with my family. My family may not be the same, but I still have a family. I cherish my time with them.
-play pool. I enjoy it and am good at it. People always gather to watch me play, and often times I can give some pointers to someone that wants to learn from me. People look up to me so just a few positive words from me have made amazing impacts on people and I enjoy using my 'status' in the pool world to build others up. This makes me feel good about who I am and validated.
Basically once you have itemized the needs you used to look to WAS for and then found replacements for them, you will stop seeing them as this magical happiness dispenser and see them as just another human that you don't interact with. To me this is GAL and it must be working for me because I have what I need to feel fulfilled and content in my life.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
