I’m a firm believer in that people don’t leave something for something worse and without me demonstrating to her that I am the better option than the AP/LO where’s the draw?
You are wrong there, WAS's almost always "affair down". We've talked about it so much here that it's become a phrase. Why they do it isn't completely clear, but it's probably because they felt neglected in the M so if they "affair down" they find an OP that is so happy to have someone "out of their league" that they jump through hoops for them and make them feel super special.
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With that in mind I still don’t see her A faltering any time soon, he’s a co-worker she sees every day I have had to move out and let her carry on with him in the family home and in my bed due to the constant torture imposed on not just me but my boys also.
So she has the perfect world an A half the week when I have my boys and the family life when she gets to have them, why would she give this up..!
You really don't know that. LBS's always imagine the WAS is living a grand life while the LBS is suffering. That's rarely the case, the WAS is usually pretty miserable too. They prop themselves up with flings for the temporary good feelings they offer, but that doesn't mean they're loving life.
Besides, focusing on that does not serve you in any way, shape or form. You need to focus on the amazing life ahead of you! Maybe it's with W or maybe a new woman, but there ARE incredible things in store for you. I can't remember if I posted this in your thread or someone else's a while back, but I love the show Vikings. There's a scene where Rollo is whining to the Seer after he's lost everything and his life is in the pooper. He asks the Seer if it's all over for him. The Seer starts laughing and says "Oh Rollo, if you knew what the gods have in store for you, you would go down right now and dance naked on the beach!" BD, S and D, this stuff isn't the end of our life novel. It closes one chapter and opens another. Don't be afraid to turn the page, if you knew what was in the next chapter you would no doubt WANT to turn the page.
I was in your exact same position. Depressed, sad, beat down. The ONLY solution I could see was to restore my M and put things back to "normal". I wanted that more than I had ever wanted anything in my life. I prayed day and night for that. I did not get what I wanted. I got something better. I have a young, sexy, beautiful girlfriend that thinks the world of me. We go for rides on my Harley, we travel together, we go to haunted houses, renaissance festivals, we go to Six Flags, and yes we have unbelievable, uninhibited, no-holds-barred sex the likes of which I never even imagined until I met her.
I also have a better relationship with my kids than I did before (and it wasn't bad at all before). My son and I have time to ourselves that we call "dude time" where we do stuff together- play video games, watch a movie, race gokarts, etc. My daughters are grown and moved out now but I go visit them and they come visit me.
I am also in better shape than I have been in decades. I eat right now, I do Crossfit 4 or 5 times a week, and I make sure to make some time for my hobbies to keep my mental health up as well.
Do you know what the difference is between me and you? Time and GAL. That's it. I can't stress it enough, I was as low as or lower than you and every other LBS on here. But I dragged my sorry butt out and I GAL'd. It was the hardest thing I've done in my life at first. But I made myself do it. And again, and again until I started enjoying it in spite of myself. Then I started saying "hey if I enjoy this, maybe life isn't over after all, what else might I enjoy doing?" And it went from there.
So STOP focusing on your W. STOP thinking about how great she has it while you're just suffering. STOP waiting for something to happen. START living YOUR life.
