KGirl - new life, new stuff #2

[Zues126]

Twice in my life I really liked someone that I wanted to be better friends with. We were all pool players and every time I saw them at a tournament or pool hall I would go hang out and we'd have a good time. I got their numbers and would send them a text or give them a call now and then.

I wasn't getting as much back as I was putting in. I'd send them a funny text and get back an 'lol', and they wouldn't initiate a text. Or not very often. I'd leave them a message and then wouldn't hear back for a while. Then I'd see them at a tournament and they'd act like it was no big deal.

I tried inviting them to go to a few tournaments together and it never quite panned out. They were always non-committal or said they already had travel partners. But they wouldn't invite me.

I finally realized they just weren't friends of mine. They were people I could enjoy when we crossed paths, but they weren't going to be the companions I was looking for.

Later one of them moved to LA. I tried staying in touch by phone for a while but noticed that he didn't initiate many calls back. I also noticed that when he did, he usually needed something. Sales advice. Thoughts on how to practice a certain shot, or how to handle a certain situation in competition. It was always calling me to ask me something.

I did an experiment and quit calling him. Sure enough we started going a year at a time without contact and the last 3 times he called me was when he needed some advice and thought I was the leading expert.

Took me a while K, but I have learned not to project my enthusiasm onto someone else. Just because I enjoy the time we spend together doesn't mean they value it. And they show you that. In the end I don't want to spend time with someone that doesn't value me.

I'd be curious if you quit pursuing how much attention he'd show. If it's not enough then it's not enough.

Oh, as for the whole 'it's a busy time in his life right now', if it's busy now it will ALWAYS be busy. We all have time for our priorities. Granted you are early in your relationship, but you seem to be making him a priority at this stage in your relationship so when he's not doing the same that tells a lot.

Finally, we're all saying the same things. Look, I love Maybell but we are almost polar opposites. When we both agree on something LOOK OUT!