Sean....as far as text messages go I only respond to the ones that require responding. If it is actionable then I respond if it is just informational then I don't.
I also don't initiate any contact with my W unless it is a question about my children. Usually those contacts are done via email or text. Usually the only verbal conversation we have is during kid drop off and pick up.
For example, last night I dropped the kids off, made sure I looked buff. Said Hi or hey or something like that, she exchanged hugs with the kids, I gave her a receipt for a shirt my mom gave my 6 yr old and told my W it didn't fit. I could tell she wanted to have more conversation but since she did not initiate it at that time I cut the conversation off, told my D's I would see them on Friday, gave them hugs and left. As my W was walking into her apt I notice that she looked back at me. Then later on last night I got a text from her about my D and how upset she was the Grandma and Grandpa were leaving. Since it was informational I didn't respond.
I'm not sure if this helps or not but it is the general approach/guidance that I have been given by Sandi and AS. It also helps me detach.
