KGirl - new life, new stuff #2

[25yearsmlc]

Re: defining what this is, yes, we are exclusive (because that's important to me once sex is in the picture - once it got to that point I tried to keep it simple and said "I'm not OK with sleeping with someone who may be sleeping with other people" and he said "oh, no, of course I'm not, you thought that?"). He made a point to say he deleted his online dating apps. Then he started saying more things that I think have ramped up my expectations/etc. because they mean one thing to me, and maybe something else to him -

My advice remains the same.


like when we're out with friends or wherever he'll introduce me as "this is my girlfriend K", so using the word girlfriend, using the word "relationship" frequently, etc.


If he is honest, then My translation is that "girlfriend" means "the woman I date - when I date".



In my mind I start to attach all this meaning to it, and maybe I should not.

((((( ))))) KG, you know you should Not attach all this meaning.

Time & Actions will reveal what it means and the more you push this, the more you push him away or freak him out.

You want him to want more of you, you want him to love you, in essence.

I think You want control, and no healthy r allows for such.

Manipulation will not create that want in him. Nor will your fears/jealousy.

Hmm, I like metaphors, so here is one.

Shoving food on someone's plate, even food they once said they liked a lot, will not make them enjoy it more. Indeed, that might make them sick of it.

Back off. Make plans for tonight and tomorrow night, plans that CAN but do NOT HAVE to, include him.

So you will have fun both nights, regardless of his choices.

In time, if he does not make himself available (and he does NOT have to explain why!)

you will see where you stand. And react in accordance with YOUR goals.

You seem like you want a committed LASTING HEALTHY r.

That might not be possible with this guy at this time in your lives. Be ready to move on.

When what you SEE is not in alignment with what you HEAR, go with the eyes. Actions, not words.

Only when the actions and words (sight and hearing) match, can you define anything with some accuracy.


I'd have acted cavalier that he'd use the term "girlfriend." And I would introduce him as your "date" and nothing more.

Until there is more.