Hi Sean, all these little interactions don't really add up to anything in the grand scheme of things. I think a lot of LBSers get concerned early in their sitch that every little thing they do could be "right" or "wrong" so they feel like they have to post every little interaction so it can be evaluated here. You need to get to the point where these small interactions just don't matter to you, because you are so busy GALing and being an awesome dude Try to quit worrying about whether you should say "happy birthday" to her or not, or what to do when S points the phone at her. Just go with the flow. Treat her like a "friendly neighbor", you can wish her a happy birthday, it's not going to wreck your sitch!
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What are the greeting rules when detaching and ignoring?
Detaching and ignoring are two completely different things. Detaching is good, ignoring is bad. Detaching simply means you are no longer on her emotional roller coaster:
Not detached: Wife happy = you happy Wife mad = you mad Wife sad = you sad
Detached: Wife happy = you happy Wife mad = you happy Wife sad = you happy
Detachment takes a while, it's not something you just flip a switch and make happen (although that sure would be nice!)
Give her time and space, but don't ignore her. Don't initiate contact, but if she does it's fine to respond/ reply.
Try to quit worrying about whether you should say "happy birthday" to her or not, or what to do when S points the phone at her. Just go with the flow. Treat her like a "friendly neighbor", you can wish her a happy birthday, it's not going to wreck your sitch!
