but anyways, yes, I think I need to stop jumping through hoops and see what happens. I don't need to play games and pretend to be busy when I'm not, but I don't need to bend over backwards. As scary as it feels,
Wait K, what is so scary ^^here? What is it you fear?
What does this difficult r with a guy you cannot possibly know that well, mean to you down deep? I'm asking.
He's a guy you have known 2 months. It's not a m, he's not the father of your kids who is suddenly running away. it's not a 5 year investment on your end or his.
He is a guy who is either 1) not in a position for a real r now, and those take time, OR
2) he's just not that into it with you.
OUCH! I know that^^^ hurts - but those ^^ are the only options.
If it's #1, AND IF it changes, cross that bridge when you get to it.
I think it'll come way more naturally than you seem to believe. So GAL and detach and if he pursues enough, (not just a little, & not just sometimes) that is great.
If it's #2, then GAL and detach so you can more easily move along.
See how the course of action for you, is the same?
he'll either step up or he won't. or he'll just dump me next time we're together and I won't have to worry about it... back off. A 2 month r that ends - is not him "dumping" you, it's one or both of you realizing you are not a good fit.
That is Not a flaw in you, it's not a horrible reflection on you.
right now I need to figure out how to address the immediate "so you said you felt like we should break up, do you mean that?" so I'm not living under that uncertainty.
If he wants out, let him go gracefully. Don't probe for details. Don't belabor the point or have a conversation of more than 5 minutes
I mean it. Prolonged break up talks this early on, mean someone is either being cold, or someone is being needy.
If he wants to "work" on the r, be casual and back way way off. Then go your way and let nature take its course.
If you have to "work on things" this early in the r, it's hard for me to see this as a good long term emotional investment.
It's not a shortcoming in you to realize maybe you are not ready for a serious r, or maybe your "partner picker" needs honing.
I'm just asking.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
