^^ yeeeeppp. I feel like every relationship I've ever been in results in me being the pursuer. It's like I don't want it because I want the other person to take initiative, but then I do it anyways, and then I get resentful, but then I can't help myself K, you are not powerless. Unless you choose to be, which is not the same as actually being powerless. What is with the "can't help" yourself, knowing it's not a healthy or happiness producing behavior?
Are you seeing an IC?
and keep doing it, etc. One of my friends suggested "why don't you plan your life as if he doesn't exist? Like if you're debating to go do something or say yes to plans, think what would you do if he wasn't in the picture?" etc. I'm finding it super hard, I don't know if it's a people-pleasing thing or what.
Sounds like fear of being alone, and or a desire to replay some unhealthy dynamic in which you choose men who are not really available to you.
I say that b/c you say you are doing this in "every relationship" and you know it's not making you happy.
And this r is about 2 months old. I hope I'm not even noticing this stuff when I'm 2 months into a new r, b/c that is so fast to have expectations and to be having ANY r talk, imo.
Guess I just have the long view.
If you are as troubled by this as you sound, I'd see someone and explore it more.
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
