From what I am seeing in these past couple of pages, is a newcomer who is bouncing off one thing to jump on another.......in hopes that something jars, shakes, or rattles your W out of the fog. I can tell you that all this bouncing around does not work to wake her up. You have to be consistent, and your changes must be based on your values and princples..........not some kind of kiss-a$$ junk you read on some web sites or some books I have seen. I don't know if was you or another poster who said one thread says this and another thread says that. Absolutely correct! Why? B/c all situations are cut by the same cookie cutter. IOW, I may not give identical advice to another poster in a different situation. (Although, I try to keep it as close to the same, as possible, simply b/c of the newcomers who have said the same as you). I may not give women the same advice as men. It will depend where they are in their situation. Plus, if you haven't read all their threads, then you may not know where they are on their particular pathway.
I have been known to write long posts, but there is no way under the sun to say everything at once. I sense frustration, and maybe you are on the verge of panic. We are all trying to help you, and explain a few things that may be confusing. Nothing is 100% fool proof. A WW is a fool, and you could change all your bad ways to being nearly perfect.......and she may even like some of them, but she still might not want to stay in the MR. Why? B/c her wayward mindset is the problem, now. Whatever may have happened in the past......her waywardness is the current issue, and nothing will succeed as long as she retains resentment and disrespect. Go ahead and improve the man you need to become, but don't do changes just to get her back, b/c it won't stick and you'll be back in the same boat again.
Last thought, I think you need to stop trying to shock her out of her fog. This becomes a real stumbling block for LBH's. Once you stop trying to do something to shock her out of the fog.....then you'll focus on what you want to change permantely.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
