Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 10

[PsySara]

2016,
I've been negligent in posting all the day-to-day stuff going on. I've actually have spent about 90% of my time working on building happy memories for the family/kids. Recently I took WH away for a weekend at a bed and breakfast. We slept in, ate yummy food, watched a movie late at night and ML. On the way home WH was talking about how he wishes he could learn to fish. I ended up making him stop off at a hole-in-the-wall bait and tackle shop, bought some cheap rods and some tackle/bait and we spent the after noon fishing. We actually managed to catch a teeny-tiny fish.

Later on we started taking the kids fishing and have done that a few times. The house we bought earlier this year has a pool so we do that with the kids a few times a week as well. There are actually a lot of moments where I am really happy in the moment with my children and my WH. But sometimes I feel like we are building these memories on thin ice and it will sink as soon as WH finds a new, shiny distraction. (OW)

I find myself dealing with memories which intrude on these moments. For instance, we are coming up on one of our holidays called Eid Al-Adha. We only have 2 eids so they are big deal. Almost 2 years ago my WH was super distracted on his cell phone during this holiday, to the point where we went out to a special dinner with friends and they noticed it too. Later on when everything came out about the affair I found out he was texting OW. So even though we were with our kids, friends and supposedly celebrating a huge religious holiday he was bust chatting with her. He has since apologized about it but it just doesn't feel authentic. I am not sure what I am looking for but WH isn't giving it. I wish he would approach me and straight address this huge elephant in the room, that he would tell me how f*cked up he was to throw away his wife and children for a wh*re. Sigh. There's the anger surfacing again.