KGirl - new life, new stuff #2

[KGirl]

^^ yeeeeppp. I feel like every relationship I've ever been in results in me being the pursuer. It's like I don't want it because I want the other person to take initiative, but then I do it anyways, and then I get resentful, but then I can't help myself and keep doing it, etc. One of my friends suggested "why don't you plan your life as if he doesn't exist? Like if you're debating to go do something or say yes to plans, think what would you do if he wasn't in the picture?" etc. I'm finding it super hard, I don't know if it's a people-pleasing thing or what.