KGirl - new life, new stuff #2

[KGirl]

Ooof, thanks everyone.

This is a different guy than the one back in April (he decided to move out of state and I washed my hands of him after that). This guy I met in mid-May. And am like crazy about so that makes it all the harder. As in, have liked him more than anyone else I've met in the past 2.5 years (I'm not sure what that says about me or my choices). He overall has his life together in many ways and there's a ton of stuff I like about him. He's just... really... busy... and I'm not sure where the line is of me being flexible and understanding vs. being a doormat is. He's taken on more responsibilities at work in the past month that he says will be short-term. He also within the past few weeks became a property manager separate from work and is dealing with repairs and rental agreements. Oh, and he's moving in two weeks! So, I think it is quite possible that he would have more time available in the future and that circumstances/timing right now are just particularly difficult, but I don't know so. Hard to predict the future.

Maybell, boops on the head are good We do have a ton of fun when we're together. It's getting to the actually getting together part that is sometimes challenging. I dunno. I guess I have to decide if I'm willing to go with the flow until it's REALLY not working for me, or not.

DonH - yes, I think part of the issue is that in an effort to be flexible/accomodating/understanding of all the things he has going on, I've maybe been TOO accommodating (like, actually sitting around at home waiting on him when he says "we could hang out if I get home early enough from X but I really have no idea when I'll be done so if you have other things to do, do them!") I guess I worry that if I fill my time with other plans and there's nothing left for him, then I won't see him at all. But maybe that's what has to happen for him to realize "hey I guess I need to plan ahead if I want to see KGirl" and if he doesn't realize that then obviously he is not that interested in seeing me in the first place. I think he cares hence why he is feeling so badly and stressed but, I don't know.

25 - whoops, typo, I meant be independent and NOT codependent. I hear you, everything that I read on the internet says if someone says they don't know if they can give you what you deserve, to run away. It's hard when you're in the thick of the situation and don't to give up on someone. Particularly when sometimes he says this is only temporary, he's going to make me a priority whenever he can, he's going to look for a new job that requires less hours so he'll have more time available, etc. But then he says "I don't know if I'll ever be able to be X" and then I don't know what's true, or if he's just having a particularly anxious/insecure day and just saying what's popping into his head.

Re: what I deserve, I'm totally content to hang out once or twice a week, and that's what we've been doing up until the last week or two, so maybe I need to be a bit more secure in myself and know just because there's a week or two that's busy, that I shouldn't read into it. We chat a lot online throughout the day. We've only been dating two months and didn't know each other before that so I'm not expecting him to drop the other aspects of his life that existed way before me to make a huge investment in me. So I guess I'm not sure where his anxiety or insecurity is coming from that he isn't "enough". He has a history of anxiety. When he starts getting all worked up about it then I start getting worked up about it when I didn't even know he was upset about anything in the first place ... etc.

Obviously you all haven't talked me out of leaving just yet But I guess I need to think hard when we do talk in person (sounds like tomorrow night or Friday night) about how to approach this and go from there. Open ended questions like "what was your goal when you got into online dating?" "what would an ideal relationship look like for you?" "what in particular are you worried about with regards to us and not being 'enough'?" etc.?