your rushing this. our stories are similar because I rushed it, I tried to piece before the wayward mindset was gone. I've told you this before, and I'm going to say it again, time/space is needed. Space for you to level out and GAL (I don't mean GAL like do things, I mean GAL where you are comfortable in your life and it doesn't matter if she stays or goes).
Your WW is bouncing back and forth because she doesn't know what she wants, she hasn't decided she wants you, and you laying down "rules" isn't going to help her decide she wants a life with you. And right now your only goal is to get her back, when your goal should be happy no matter what, you only have your eyes on her as the prize and that can work out very badly for you.
I realize your not going to move out, but you need to not be focused on your W and what she's doing, you need to be filling your life with family and friends and find your happiness. I haven't read anything that says to me that your WW has hit rock bottom, realized how f'd up everything she's done is, and wants nothing more than to be with you. Until she feels that way, everything else is on shaky ground, like a house of cards.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
