25yearsMLC - 10 yrs Later I File D (pt 5)

[25yearsmlc]

NEWSFLASH


my computer freaked and I lost my passwords. When DB sent my mine, I kept on Not receiving it, so I called.

Turns out recently (not before this to my knowledge) they sent the new DB password to my h's email.

And they would not change it to my email. Claimed I gave them the family email only h uses, way back in 2006. The reason I don't believe this is b/c A) it makes no sense AND B) b/c I've lost my password to this site a solid dozen times at least. Always got the password link sent to me in the correct (mine) email. If I recall correctly, we provide more than one email to DB when we first register. I'm quite certain I did not list the family/h's email first or second, but it matters not. Once we say it's a problem, I feel like that ought to be enough. My option was to forget all of my posts and just start over here. Really?

I had received many many new passwords on the correct email, until this recent event.

But I had to prove this by sending DB my correct email and past communications from them, and call, all of which were done. I ended up using a link from 2 years ago, that was sent to my correct email. That's how I got back on. So who knows what other emails were sent?

But seems they might retain His email for ME, anyhow, b/c the woman I spoke to says that I gave it to them when I registered.

Even if that were true, (it's not), why not just delete HIS now, since I've proved who I am? Somehow that seems unachievable.

Maybe it has been repaired, and I just have not heard.

Thought---

For the most part, I think if h were to click that link, and then figure out who I am, and then take the time to read what I have written, and IF he were to pay attention to it

it would be more listening than he has done to me in years.

So, I am not going to freak out more than I already have.

But be careful.

[Maybell]

WOW.

[Maybell]

The more I think about it the more I find that dangerously irresponsible. We're encouraged to be honest and vulnerable here. If you're telling them that your account may have been hacked in some way, at a place where many of us are telling secrets that not even people in real life know, then it seems to me that the DB people are putting you at risk by not making the change to your email that you're telling them is needed.

It's frustrating to say the least. I hope this situation is resolved.

[25yearsmlc]

Hmm, yes it was not well handled imo. I will lay all this out to help someone else from dealing with it.

First- Maybell I don't think it was hacked, b/c If it were hacked and h had done it, seems to me he'd use a fully new email that I cannot access at all.

My guess is there was some administrative change or purge in DB land or a completely inadvertent act. Someone there switched the order of emails provided, by accident or not thinking it would matter, but it does.

That^^ is a problem, obviously.

But the 2nd problem is them not deleting his/family email when I could prove that
A) it's not good for me, to use that family/h email, as we are in divorce proceedings;

and B) they had been using my correct email in the past. I believe the error is on their end.

Third problem is saying the only option I have is to start all over & register under a new name. That seems pretty unappealing after 12 years.

Here is what happened:

I've been cut out of my computer before, and or have had to reset my password. Over the years, I would click onto "forgot/reset password" and get a link - always sent to MY original email, (which proves they had the correct one.)

I changed my email address once, to another more usable & personal email. Both of these email addresses are mine. Both of these correct email addresses have received DB links in the past.

(I have not checked the family/h email to see if it also gets sent links. Let's hope not.)


Then about 2 weeks ago, my computer freaked & I had to log onto all sorts of places I normally am on, automatically.

So I had to log onto DB and I clicked onto "forgot/reset password" but after several tries, I didn't get a DB password link sent to either of my personal emails.

So I called DB.

That is when I was informed that the link was sent to the family email "b/c that's the one" I gave, which is false. I cannot imagine ever listing that one, first or second if at all.

And That frightened me.

Worse, apparently they were not going to send one to me at either of MY personal emails, as some sort of ironic security protection.

This was despite the fact that I was on the phone explaining that they were sending links to the wrong email AND not sending me one on my correct one...

DB insisted I had given them the family/h email, but I protested that to no avail. Its just not true.

I was asked to show that another email has been used by them and me, in the past.

I did this by retrieving an old link from DB.

And I called back to say " here's a link you all sent me 2 years ago, at MY CORRECT '25' email, which shows you once had & used the right one."

Even then, they would not delete the family email that h still uses, and would not guarantee that they would not continue to send links to that one. (????)

AND I have Not received a reset link from DB - to my correct personal email.

I was told by the woman who answered that she'd pass this on up the line to whomever handles this type of matter. I was told it should be handled by last Friday. To be fair, she was very polite and seemed genuinely concerned.



So, How'd I get back on here?

I got back on by retrieving & using an old link DB sent to MY correct email, sent in 2015, again proving they had the correct email in the past. Hopefully it's the only one.


Am I explaining this ^^^ all well enough?

Self Protection

I think the way to check it is to ask DB for a password link to change your password and see where they send the link. Check all possible emails you have.

I've never checked other email addresses before, to see if they send more than one link.

^^^ this was not explored last week.

OH btw, IF h came here and read what I've written, here is what I'd say - knowing he'd stop reading as soon as it wasn't fun or legally helpful anymore...


DEAR H,

Get help, You are responsible for where your life is now.
You have inflicted a huge amount of pain on the 4 people who loved you the most, and if that does not haunt you, then you are pathological. For our children's sake, I hope you get help & have a spiritual awakening.

Ease up on the adamant atheist beliefs, they make your selfish dishonesty look just plain amoral.

[Tobias]

25yearsmlc I want to give you a hug but also this made me burst out laughing:

"it would be more listening than he has done to me in years."

[kml]

25 -
Lots of people have had to change their IDs for similar reasons in the past, it usually works out fine. I would suggest you do so.

My ex discovered I was going on here, early on, during his first MLC. He agreed to stay away so that I could have the support, and I think he did at that time, but I've always wondered if he ever checked back in during our divorce. If so, he found out that I was having FANtastic sex with a tall handsome restauranteur a few months after he walked out!

[PsySara]

Your line about him listening more than he has in ears had me cackling. I comfort myself with the knowledge that WH has NO patience to actually read anything on the internet aside from some short articles. I try to imagine him reading anything about feelings or relationships and laugh my butt off.

You STBX never ceases to amaze me. Does he have any idea the amount of hot water he will be in when it's found he is hiding income/assets from a judge?! The take a dim view of people trying to manipulate the law. I would sit in the court room with a bag of popcorn and watch the fireworks exploded when the judge is shown the evidence.

[OwnIt]

I hope mine is reading right along.

[25yearsmlc]

I hope mine is reading right along.

ah yes, our secret "better communication" plan is working flawlessly

[dale165]

Hey 25,

I seen divorce care is starting next Sunday at a local church. Just 10 minutes from me. 20 bucks, cant beat that.

I've neglected my emotions big time, you think that will benefit me? I remember reading a while back that you go/went.