I don't know the US rules regarding contact with your child when she is with stbxw, but do you have a legal right to have it? (I know you have a moral right, but you know, WW's....)
Tennessee law says calls of reasonable duration a minimum of twice a week. If that's how she wants to do things, then she should communicate such rather than complaining she doesn't get to talk to D enough (because she doesn't bother to call) and unilaterally changing what we've been doing.
When this started, I had D call her like clockwork before bed, and they also talked in the morning before school (again, we called her). I never got the same courtesy on weekends. If I didn't call D, I didn't get to talk to her. Eventually I just told STBXW "Call anytime you want, but I'm not going to be responsible for D calling you if you aren't going to do the same."
Recently her tune changed (when we are in NJ, I got a complaint that I wasn't having D call her. I had given her my mother's number with the statement 'call her ANY TIME you want to' and she never did. She stated at that time that she "always" had D call me when she was with her. Which is simply not true).
When we got back from NJ and she kept D for the week, she had D call me every night, and even in the afternoon once or twice. It was a nice change. I aped her behavior, and D again called her every morning and every evening. Since I dropped off D, I have had one phone call lasting about a minute, and all attempts to have any other contact are ignored.
