I also thought what Maybe said was wise "Too soon to look backwards, T. You don't have any perspective yet. Get through this first and then look backwards."
Your H and mine decided to end the M rather than address its' weak spots. Were there some? Probably. But right now, his actions mean what you or he did IN your marriage is no longer relevant. It might matter to you down the line to reflect on things you would do differently before your next relationship, with him or anyone else. But right now his actions mean that the situation on the table is his decision to walk away and how you protect your family from how he has done it.
My H was my husband and my best friend. Then he decided to become my enemy, someone who didn't care about my thoughts or feelings, or what the impact of his choices would be on me, who showed no remorse. It was bewildering to me. It is still very puzzling, but it doesn't change the fact that this is who he has chosen to be now. And, like you, that is the situation I need to deal with the best I can.
You obviously come from a line of strong, smart women, T. It is early days and you are doing fantastically well.
Me: 53 H:38 T:20 M:14 BD ILYB etc 10/15, H diagnosed severe depression S 1/16 PA 4/16 H filed 1/17
