Originally Posted By: Tobias

...she walked in and gave me a big hug and said she appreciates me so much and how she realizes that I made a lot of sacrifices when she isn't feeling well.

I told her that I really don't see it as a sacrifice because I love being around her


A lot of people tend to do this when someone thanks them- they unintentionally invalidate the person's "thank you". Case in point-she told you she appreciates the sacrifice and your response is "I really don't see it as a sacrifice". You accidentally told her she is wrong, that her feelings are inaccurate!! Something I read a long time ago, I think in "Seven Habits" maybe, Is that we all should make a habit of -allowing- someone to thank us without us attaching a bunch of invalidating comments and apologies to it. A simple "you're welcome" speaks volumes smile Didn't mean to pick on you but I think a lot of us guys on here are suffering from NGS and tend to do this because we feel guilty about receiving a "thank you". It's something I've worked on a last few years and it is surprisingly difficult just saying "you're welcome" instead of "it was nothing" or "it's no biggie" or similar.

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It's moments like this where it feels we are sort of piecing things together. We are not fully there yet..but we are learning what the other person needs and we are learning how we can best communicate that to the other.


It is all about the baby steps and that was certainly a nice one! So celebrate it internally and keep moving forward!


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57