ILYBINILWY - OW - what to do next 3

[Parkema]

Hi SJ,

We LBS also have our rollercoaster ride to contend with and last week you were at the back of the queue this week it’s your turn…

I recently celebrated our S8 birthday BUT my WW was nowhere to be seen, his brother and I took him to watch a film he wanted to watch and had a birthday dinner at night all without his mum there! This aided me in two different ways.
1. Imagine the impact it had with my WW not being with her family when we were “celebrating” a major event.
2. Demonstrated to her that she had given up the right to be a family due to her actions.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not the sort to be vengeful and I’m sure she celebrated his birthday with him AND the AP/LO but again no more MNG, we went out and GAL’ed as a family minus mum and she was left to her own devices.
You mention you are willing for your WS to stay the night due to a birthday he must be happy about this? How do you feel? How does your mum really feel?
IMHO the only winner here is your WS and I of course understand that you feel it best for your S. How would you feel if something “better” cropped up say the AP/LO made alternate plans on the same night? Do you think he’d say “sorry I’m spending the night at my BS house and being with my boy on his birthday” if that is the case then your situation has just turn the corner. What do you really think would happen if he was given that option?

What I’m trying to say is maybe you should say to him can you arrange to HAVE S the day after his birthday as I have plans for the kids and I that doesn’t involve you.
SJ you also need to prepare yourself for the AP/LO being part of your children’s lives, we can’t control this unless done legally. There was no way for me to stop him getting involved with my boys and this is possibly now the worst thing I face about my situation.

Again this is my view and I know everybody’s situation is different and only YOU can choose what to do for the best.

Take care.

Mark.