You need to do what makes you happy and clearly her engaging in violence is unacceptable.
It does seem the two of you need professional help because it is obvious that IF both of you want to make this work there are vicious cycles being entered. It seems you have a clear boundary that she needs to apologize and she needs to go NC with OM but perhaps that can be brought up in a counseling session.
On the other hand, like I said before it sounds you have a lot of anger. I am not saying your anger is not justified but I encourage you to work on that. You are absolutely entitled to feeling like you are done but until that anger is gone you aren't making a well thought out choice. IF you are calm and say you're done that is a much bigger sign.
Go do something fun with your son. It seems your W has a lot of work to do and it seems she has to do that on her own.
