I just wanted to say a big thank you, for posting. I've written this post a couple of times and never sent it because I wasn't sure what it 'contributed', but I just wanted to say thanks. It's good to know there are people like you out there in the world.
I don't know what I am doing myself, but I guess technically I am standing. I don't want to stand, not by a mile. But more than anything else I want to do what is God's will. I've learned the hard way things don't go so well when you try to do what you want instead of what He wants. I don't know if God wants me to stand per se, but I know this much - he wants me to forgive WH and love WH. I just can't figure out how I should love WH - as a man or as a brother?
I know what what you mean by other people being more bothered by your stand and not seeing other people than you are. I guess it's because they're afraid we're going to waste our lives or something. And what it might mean for them if they tried standing too.
When I was thinking about this I was reminded of a diagram I read in a book about feeling fear and doing stuff anyway. In the first illustrative diagram, it was a square with marriage written in the middle, and a small bit of it portioned out for other stuff (friends, family, work, hobbies etc). In the second (more healthy) square, the square was divided into other squares, all of the same size. And in each box, was a word for all these components of our lives - marriage, family, friends, work etc.
The argument, I guess, is that if you're living by the first box where the marriage is the be all and end all of your life, then yes, to stand means to effectively stop living a healthy, happy life. But if you apply the second paradigm, then it just means that one of your boxes, of many, is empty.
