Too soon to look backwards, T. You don't have any perspective yet. Get through this first and then look backwards.
When I called the DB coach he told me that I had neglected my H and that was why he cheated. I'm super curious who was supposed to be taking care of me? I was in a serious depression and highly isolated at the time when I was supposedly neglecting him. But I think he has to show up in order for me to neglect him, and I assure you, he was physically NOT THERE. Anybody who can tell you what was going on in your marriage is just reading tea leaves. They have a tiny little view into a tiny fraction of the thousands of moments and feelings that make up a marriage. You'll sort all this out when the time comes, but now is not that time.
Don't worry about what H is doing. Good for you for taking space, etc. Keep clearing your head and don't look backwards yet. There'll be time for that when the dust settles.
(((((T)))))
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
