Leah, awesome! I'm sure you look absolutely amazing.
I second Thornton that this is not flat rejection, which is probably how you're reading it. He knows he's made a mess, he knows you're not falling all over yourself to see him, so he's avoiding having to deal with the mess he's made.
I know I always felt the worst when I read H's actions as being rejection of me. Then I'd step back, look at his actions and choices, and remember that it wasn't about me. It was about him. If he couldn't see me clearly or was projecting something onto me, that was his loss.
Quote:
I know this will get easier. I tell other people that on here. It's just so much harder to look inward.
Look inward, Leah. There's a part of you that wants you to see it and heal it.
It may sound corny, but the overwhelming grief you felt - that was your inner child asking you for help healing. There's something that she hasn't ever recovered from that is causing you to feel this pain so much deeper than is necessary.
This is an opportunity to figure out what is going on inside of you and to heal. That's what will really make this easier.
