"Something more to the affect of: Hi Coconut, I wanted to let you know that I am sorry for how our M ended, I’ve realized that even though we had issues in our M, I really f’d up when I stepped out of our M into someone else’s arms (or whatever words she wants to use). If you would be ok with it, I would like to spend some time talking to you and see if we can get to know each other again; if our M still ends, at least the final chapter won’t be the bad year and a ½ we just went through and maybe we can look back on our M with some happy memories with one bad period of time, instead of the end overshadowing the entire M."
I understand that. And believe me that would be an amazing sign. But it also comes across as what 25yearsmlc refers to as placing obstacles. Does she really need to verbalize these things or can you perhaps insinuate from her actions that this is how she feels?
On the other hand, you know your W better than we do. But add me to the list of people above who say there might be more to her words.
At the end of the day though it's your choice: if you really think you will be happier being divorced than by all means pursue it. But to me I am reading her words as coming from someone who wishes things were different, who recognizes you as a great father. She is also worried that by saying anything beyond that she would violate YOUR boundaries and add pressure to you.
From the thing I quoted you want HER to say something. From what I understand SHE wants YOU to make that step. Wouldn't it be a shame if you ended up divorced because you were both waiting for the other to make that step?
