I just found out that they aren't leaving for the beach until tomorrow. That means he is 45 minutes away, and doesn't care enough to see me, with a whole free day and night in front of him.
The pain of that feels enormous right now, overwhelming, consuming, like fire. I'm trying everything- exercise, self talk, meditation, soft music, soothing candles, and I can't stop the tears.
This grief is actually physical. My whole body yearns for him. OH GOD, please let this end soon. I've never known true heart break until now.
M-60 H-51 M-14 years BD 12/26/16 S 1/1/17
"First the pain, then the rising." Glennon Doyle Melton
