The soonest I can meet with lawyer again is next Monday. I met with financial guy today, and he was horrified by the draft agreement that my L sent me. It was kind of good to get the validation that it wasn't just me being picky, but bad that maybe I've chosen the wrong lawyer. Finance guy also thinks I'm not going for nearly enough, all things considered. So I'm going to take this week and look at all the numbers again.
I saw in our joint bank account that he used a shuttle service to get him from the airport today, so that means he is less than an hour from here, RIGHT NOW. I guess he leaves for the beach with his mom and sisters tomorrow. For some reason, that sent me spinning. I truly had a full out panic attack, and Xanax didn't even touch it.
My sweet D31 called right in the middle of it, and she was so precious. I said I feel like some of my support people are thinking, For God's sake, girl, get over this already. The man's not worth it, etc..... She texted me a little later and said, "I can't speak for anyone else, but I understand that we've not even had the funeral yet. So let the grief come as it needs to. Thanks for answering the phone earlier and letting me hold some space for you tonight."
On top of the rest of this lovely day, I get a call to come downtown tomorrow to meet some Dept of Education (state) main person to talk about a job opportunity. Of course, since I've been mostly binge watching TV and laying in the pool, none of my professional clothes fit. So here I go to buy an outfit. Today was a "fat" day (and you women will know what I mean) so the last place I wanted to be was in a dressing room.
BUT, I pushed through, and I'm going to look (and probably feel) like a million bucks tomorrow. (If I'll get off this forum and go hem the new pants and jacket sleeves.)
I got this.
M-60 H-51 M-14 years BD 12/26/16 S 1/1/17
"First the pain, then the rising." Glennon Doyle Melton
