Treasur, the lies are hard, but to me they are an indication that the past was merely a mirage. Today is who he really is. I don't know about yours, but mine is such a horrible liar. Yes, looking back there were ridiculous lies that I believed hook, line and sinker, but that was a reflection of the goodness of my heart, not gullibility. He is the one who should feel shame in lying to me (but of course he does not) rather than me feeling shame in believing.
I believe that my H is 100% in an MLC that exacerbated some pre-existing, significant narcissistic traits. I also believe that like 25 says, it doesn't matter. It does not change my reality. I still have to get up and get myself through the day. I still have to find a place in my mental box to lock him and the things he has done to me away. I still have to move forward with as much optimism as I can muster, and I know from the past year, that it is going to get much better and that I am going to be much stronger and happier next year.
If you really and truly don't want to be married to him, then you should have no fear about what happens next. Charge ahead strong and with determination because if nothing else your actions will make you feel better about yourself.
25 may never get a cent from her H, but she is being paid in strength, determination, grit and drive. Those things will serve her better in the long run. It is a good lesson for those of us still struggling with the last few ties that bind.
